Me – being accountable on my blog

Now that I’ve dispersed all of this personal information about my life to the world in a published format, it’s only right for me to attempt to keep the momentum going in the direction of my intention – which is what I think we all long for – to have purpose, to love, and have a happy life, in which we are loved in return. And if we are lucky enough – we just might get some validation and redemption from our trials along the way.

I’d wrote in a previous post about accountability in the infidelity realm, and now I feel responsible for being accountable for some of the other things I’ve posted – a follow up – if you will.

It was actually brought to my attention by my husband, who has been reading my posts, that sometimes I backslide or neglect to follow my own intentions in what I write. I believe he is a bigger critic of my work than I am. His criticism is more about action. Action that doesn’t appear to exactly correlate with my written word (i.e. when I said I was going to stop isolating myself in my post about grieving those alive – I stayed in my room another 2 days) If interested the link is here:

https://heathenmichelle.com/2018/05/31/grieving-those-alive/

As far as the diet and exercise- I’m still struggling and have had a disheartening week with a one pound (2.2 kg) weight gain. Although I’ve refrained from binge eating, I’m still not being too particular about what I’m putting in my body.

I did eat a small bag of carrots today – without dressing.. baby steps.

The evening was finished with a roughly 3 mile (1.8 km) walk while abstaining from eating right before bed – which had become a favorite ritual the last 4 months or so. Let me just go ahead and state the obvious – this is a bad, bad habit to start – especially with a new heart stent, not to mention joining the 40 + club.

Unfortunately there has been a price for the adage for me and my “skinny clothes. ” I’m feeling each new pound more intensely. Every stitch is seemingly tighter and my smallest jeans no longer fit. I have to leave a button undone now – yeah I do this in public -with a long shirt that covers. Who can afford to go buy a new wardrobe after gaining weight?

Don’t even get me started on how terrible I feel- not because of how I look, but because the extra layers of adipose tissue around my apple- shaped midsection are causing some increased discomfort, along with shortness of breath.

I will not succumb to those crescent rolls sitting on my counter tonight calling my name in a heavenly song of aroma in the kichen..I think I can. I think I can.

On to my spiritual side – my bible has collected some dust bunnies this week due to not being read daily. As a result, I’m feeling the gradual slope away from God – not to mention feeling like a big hypocrite, and for that – I sincerely apologize.

I am still researching some things about ego and pride in the Bible (which will be in my next post I believe), but not really delving into what I like to call the ‘meat and potatoes’ diet I need to be partaking of in the Bible by now.

However, my husband and I did begin our nightly ritual of praying together again, which had ceased for a couple of months, so I feel I’m getting there..slow and steady, right?

As Scarlet O’Hara says in Gone With The Wind, ‘Tomorrow’s a new day’..with maybe less carbs.. and more Bible..

(Side note- Who knew my soft delicious mints had 15 Carbs and gms of sugar for just 3??!!! I didn’t until today)

My weakness:

Be blessed (and stay healthy- your heart will thank you!! 😊)

MichelleHeathen

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Life, Infidelity, and Thereafter

3 thoughts on “Me – being accountable on my blog

  1. Great honesty Michelle. Writing about your intentions makes you accountable. To ME! You can do this. I weighed over 15 stone before I started running. I binged on food abc alcohol. But four years later I’m three stone lighter and have ran 8 marathons. I know you can do this 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you 🙂I appreciate the encouragement so much! I’ve read some you of your posts about running marathons and I’m so jealous. That was my initial goal when I started running- to run one for my 40th bday present to myself (but my dad died shortly before). I’ll will get there. I’m a born fighter💪🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I appreciate your authenticity and vulnerability in providing an update on your intentions vs your actions. It is requiring me to reflect on where I am too. We are a supportive community here, and sometimes what we need is accountability and a nudge, not just empathy and kind words. May we be that for each other. Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

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