The hypocrisy is thick

I’ve referenced in a few previous posts, (or perhaps most of them), about the mirror effect that I’ve encountered after doing a Precept study of 1 John. I had the gift of the Holy Spirit before this study, but unfortunately, had strayed from God at times.

The further I separated myself, the harder it was to utilize the gift of discernment that only comes through The Holy Spirit. What a pity.

Once God started drawing me back, it still was not an overnight thing. I didn’t immediately submit to Him again though. Why? Simply because I wanted to do things my way.

Thanks to that ‘mirror’ so many things have been brought to my attention that I’ve been doing wrong, that some days I struggle with where to even begin to make things right.

One reflection was when I began undergoing medical struggles. I had become weary and somewhat calloused towards a family member who always seemed to have something wrong. No matter how many struggles I need to help this family member with now, it has brought me new empathy- but only after dealing with my own struggles.

When I dug into 1 John I uncovered my need to cleanse and purge, but I struggled with confessing infidelity to my husband.

Then, one night I lost my wedding ring, and somehow, someway, I managed to find it in a store – against all odds. I felt so much pain that night over the symbolism – and the possibility of losing much more than just the ring, that I lost my courage to confess.

Within a few days of almost losing my wedding ring, we received a call. The call received was from our realtor. We received news that a house we once dreamt of buying was being put on the market. This was the push to tell my husband of the infidelity. I could just somehow begin to feel the devastation that would come upon him if he uncovered what I had done. I was unable to move forward in purchasing a home, when I knew God commanded me to tell the truth above any material desire. The pain I was going to inflict would be nothing in comparison of what it would be if he found out after I had inflicted willful, continued, layered deceit.

There are many other examples of how God has opened my eyes, but I think you get the picture.

The last 18 months God has revealed His Spirit more than ever in my eyes. I just find my life to that point – and still at times – dripping with so much hypocrisy that the shame of it becomes too much to attempt to carry the title as a ‘Christian.’

But God is still working on me. I believe if you are really born again, one is always a sculpture being refined though, right? Conviction should be present – not as much for the cloak of shame, but to remind me of the price my sins. They were paid for with more than I could ever offer.

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Life, Infidelity, and Thereafter

One thought on “The hypocrisy is thick

  1. I think it is when God stops working on and refining us that we have to worry. As long we are still being sculpted in the Potter’s hands, we are in the right place.

    Liked by 1 person

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