Moral Quandary Here

I know that God never promised us an easy life, nor a rich one. When you look at Jesus’s financial status, He lived the most humble of all.

Why then does it bother me so much when I see evil, wicked people flourish with riches? I know the cliche money isn’t everything is true, but it sure does feel like everything when you have none. I’m not a very superficial person. Do I like nice things? Yes, I will not deny it. However, I mostly just want to have basics – food, roof, clothes, etc. and not have to worry about when a transmission goes out in our car how we will pay for it.

Up until this past tax season I thought we were finally getting slightly ahead and beginning to see that proverbial light at the end of our dark, decade – long tunnel. But I was amiss. It was not to be. Instead of getting to stay slightly afloat and slowly start putting back for savings, we were slapped with a tax bill that we were unable to immediately pay. All the while, I watch the evil man my husband works for front the bill for his nanny to vacation with his family. Not so he and his wife can enjoy each other’s company unencumbered. Nope. He must bring the nanny so that his cheating with the nanny is unencumbered.

It’s simply infuriating. I refuse to hold a pity party for us, but what do you do as someone who is trying to stay right with God? How do you sit back and watch someone so wicked, who promised your spouse partnership (in a company that my husband essentially runs) break his financial promises to my husband, only for him to have his lavish lifestyle filled with luxury cars (2 of which are vehicles that are worth 100,000 USD each), and bring the nanny on vacation so he can cheat on his wife???

I’m at a loss. My husband is sort of stuck, as am I, seeing how he needs the job and is past the age of an ideal new hire to make what needs to be made to support us.

I’ve known his boss and his wife personally for years. To give a little backstory, this same person was part of the instigation that lead to my own husband’s infidelities – and he (the boss) has done so, so, much worse since. He truly is the definition of a narcissist. And goes without saying – a misogynist. He once made my husband watch the door for his wife while he was in is business office cheating.

Some people would say, “It’s not my place to tell on him.”

To that I have to ask, “Then who’s is it?”

Does that mean it’s nobody’s responsibility to give the truth to an unsuspecting spouse? Do we all just stand back and doing nothing while we watch something so sinister? Isn’t that sort of complacency a sin itself?

The biggest reason I can’t tell the wife is simply my own pain. I know how much damage was brought to myself after the discovery of what these two men did together. Their debauchery is nauseating, and soul – wrenching when you are the recipient of their betrayal. So, I know how she will feel. It feels too close for me personally.

I’m usually pretty outspoken, and have at times been called abrasive because I’m so truthful and straightforward. But the truth is, it is never my intent to inflict pain willfully – which is exactly what I’d be doing if I told his wife. But I also feel I’d want her to tell me, so am I being merciful or cruel by letting this play itself out?

Either way, it’s so much harder to watch him flourish wickedly while we struggle so hard while trying to do what is right.

What would you do?

Would you tell? If so, how would you tell?

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This is a journey of how God humbled me. I stepped out in faith one day, confessing transgressions against my husband because God was commanding me to do so.. and it stirred my husband to confess his own sins - sins I didn’t think I was prepared to face. But God said, “It’s been over a decade - it’s time.” Now I’m coping with the aftermath, sometimes one minute at a time. In addition I’m a mother of 4 who has been a nurse for many years (with lots of stories I could tell about that as well) and I reside in the southeast part of America.

3 thoughts on “Moral Quandary Here

  1. My advice? I’d do nothing. Except maybe pray for him, his wife and the nanny. There are many victims in all of this. I know it’s easy to say that he will face his Maker in the end but I guess that’s what faith is all about. Also pray that God removes the bad memories and negative thoughts that this man is stirring within you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t think by telling her, you would willfully be inflicting pain upon her. Yes, you know the outcome would be immense pain, but you would not be the cause of that pain. And there would be no willful motive to hurt her.

    That being said, I think at this particular time in your story, and in healing from your pain, that your focus still needs to be on your own brokenness. Your pain is still raw. It is possible that she is on your heart because one day you will be a part of her pain and story in some form. But take your time and let God unfold it in His way. If you are to tell her, then that door will likely be opened by her and you will feel God’s Spirit pushing you through it when both your heart and hers have been prepared by God for the disclosure. That could be next week or next year or never. For now, look after you, and let God look after the rest.

    Liked by 1 person

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