I’m writing this with hesitation, for fear of having that other shoe drop, but at least for the last month I feel some sense of normalcy again. Attempting to explain the emotions that ebb and flow after infidelity disclosure is almost indescribable to someone who hasn’t experienced it. FINALLY I feel somewhat stable and have found a little consistency with my feelings. It no longer feels like I’m on a runaway train. Thank God!
I realize this peace will disperse again and chaos is bound to re-emerge eventually -especially with D-Day anniversary approaching – but I am trying to soak in every moment of ‘normalcy’ I can while it has permeated me for the moment.
So grateful just feeling mundane. Normal. I’m appreciative of the lack of nausea with merely the mention of the word prostitute or stripper. How nice it is to not have flashes of images scroll in front of me when a scantily clad woman crossing my path while in my husband’s presence.
I finally feel the relief from releasing the breath I’ve been holding, at least for now.
It’s about time.