Never in my life have I wished or longed for death – nor considered speeding up the process of ceasing to live – until the aftermath of the infidelity.

Had I known what I would have to endure, the toll it would take on my mental and physical health, and the affect I would have on others around me – would I do it again? Would I make my confession if I knew I’d uncover his dark secret? Because the truth is when this all came out, I longed for God to take me.

I’d like to say no, I wouldn’t tell because all this “righteous truth” that got unloaded came at a great cost, but the answer is still yes. I’d tell my husband I had two emotional affairs again, because it is the truth. Without that, I’d never have uncovered the prostitute (among other things).. and I think we both deserved the consequences. Pain or no pain.