Quiet Scares Me

I don’t like the quiet. I don’t like the stillness. I suppose it’s because it makes my own thoughts and voices become louder and unbearable. I don’t like what my “inner voice” says sometimes. It tells me to be insecure, be ashamed, feel guilty, feel dirty, be mad for the horrid things that not only […]

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The Load Feels Slightly Lighter

I’m writing this with hesitation, for fear of having that other shoe drop, but at least for the last month I feel some sense of normalcy again. Attempting to explain the emotions that ebb and flow after infidelity disclosure is almost indescribable to someone who hasn’t experienced it. FINALLY I feel somewhat stable and have […]

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The Time Paradox – What I Once Felt A Joke

I have no clever quotes or catchy photos for this post, All I have is just this raw, sincere glimpse into my past. One of the paradoxes regarding time is how the perspective of one moment can change so drastically. What you once thought happy you might find yourself cringing with angst. Or, maybe you’ve […]

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I Refused To Be A Prude – So I Offered Him Another Woman

You read that correctly. Years ago, approximately the 7 year itch mark, I refused to allow my marriage to become stale. I prided myself on not being a prude. I watched porn with my husband, I performed whenever I thought he desired, there even came a point that I offered a threesome. Yep. I truly, […]

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When Some ‘Things’ Don’t Work Themselves Out

For some reason I was reminded the other day of my of very early nursing days and one of my most unusual encounters with a patient. (Of course I will remain as vague as possible for anonymity purposes, but I think you’ll get the drift.) Once upon a time on a surgical unit of a […]

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Another Day

Another day of struggle. Another day of triggers. Another day of carefully layered mascara. Another day with an hour spent on careful preparation of my appearance. Then I recant -wipe away half of my art. (I do not want to appear to be trying too hard) So, it’s just Another wasted effort. Re-entrance to the […]

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Hosea’s Lot

When the infidelity disclosure door first busted open in our home the first person(s) we ran to were our pastor and his wife. They were our age, and displayed the most Godly portrait of what marriage should be to us. It was extremely nice to just be able to tell someone the whole truth and […]

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