Explaining God – Akin To Teaching Science

Speaking from a personal perspective only, I don’t know how people navigate through the trials and tribulations of life today without faith. When I was just coming upon my teen years, I felt called to an alter at a southern Church of God. I don’t know if it was the atmosphere that was created by […]

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Would I Tell Again?

Never in my life have I wished or longed for death – nor considered speeding up the process of ceasing to live – until the aftermath of the infidelity. Had I known what I would have to endure, the toll it would take on my mental and physical health, and the affect I would have […]

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The One Year Mark, The “B” Word, And The Hero Of This Story

Whether you make it happen solo, or together.. Of late, I’ve written several posts about anything other than directly relating to where my marriage stands. Discussing my own imperfections and guilt is not only cathartic, it’s something within MY CONTROL. I find a sense of relief, because I’m not dealing with the direct pain from […]

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A Confession, An Apology

I wish I could attest that I’ve always walked with integrity as the Brene Brown quote says, but I digress. It’s easy to say you would NEVER do something, until you do that something. I don’t fit exactly into any category squarely when it comes to the infidelity clicks. Yes, I was betrayed. Yes, my […]

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The Passing of D-day Anniversary #1

The memories that seem to have scarred most of all are the ones from the unearthing of information and the disclosure period itself. It’s everything surrounding that time frame. It’s the music heard, the chill in the air that began to envelope us. So many seemingly minuscule details that were never anticipated to have a […]

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The Middle (Being Lukewarm)

Like one of favorite fellow WordPress blogs Fractured Faith, I too, have struggled with my relationship with God. I was not one of the fortunate children who were homeschooled, sheltered from the secular world. I was brought up in and of the world, complete with cable TV and a 40 year-old Dad who took his […]

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The Load Feels Slightly Lighter

I’m writing this with hesitation, for fear of having that other shoe drop, but at least for the last month I feel some sense of normalcy again. Attempting to explain the emotions that ebb and flow after infidelity disclosure is almost indescribable to someone who hasn’t experienced it. FINALLY I feel somewhat stable and have […]

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Just another 3 am bedtime

It was a long night of the tortured heart again. Unproductive conversations that turned into an all-nighter filled with accusations and presumptions. Today I’m left with an emotional hangover – laced with no pride, only guilt and regret. (And some binging on carbs) I struggle as much with my moments of peace as I do […]

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How many triggers tonight?

Wonder how many triggers I’ll have to deal with tonight? When my 11 year old son first asked if we’d take him to the carnival that’s in town this week, I dreaded the crowd and forced interactions with people I don’t care much to socialize with, but thought I’d suck it up for the sake […]

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