Day 872 – Elijah in Hiding

Wishing to isolate from the world after infidelity has proven to be the worst possible way to solace. We must seek others, be together. Hold one another up, and accountable.

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The Unpopular Opinion Of Hope

“Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some………… It’s easy to see when there’s nothing to bring me down. But what will I say, when I’m held to the flame, like I am right now? I know You’re able, and I know You can, save through the fire with Your mighty hand But even if […]

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The One Year Mark, The “B” Word, And The Hero Of This Story

Whether you make it happen solo, or together.. Of late, I’ve written several posts about anything other than directly relating to where my marriage stands. Discussing my own imperfections and guilt is not only cathartic, it’s something within MY CONTROL. I find a sense of relief, because I’m not dealing with the direct pain from […]

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Funny Hair

Recently I had a run in with a gentleman with whom we used to attend church. He and I had an additional thread in common besides the house of worship. That is, a love for photography. So naturally the conversation turned to his latest gigs and triumphs in the industry, of which I was super […]

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The Middle (Being Lukewarm)

Like one of favorite fellow WordPress blogs Fractured Faith, I too, have struggled with my relationship with God. I was not one of the fortunate children who were homeschooled, sheltered from the secular world. I was brought up in and of the world, complete with cable TV and a 40 year-old Dad who took his […]

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The Load Feels Slightly Lighter

I’m writing this with hesitation, for fear of having that other shoe drop, but at least for the last month I feel some sense of normalcy again. Attempting to explain the emotions that ebb and flow after infidelity disclosure is almost indescribable to someone who hasn’t experienced it. FINALLY I feel somewhat stable and have […]

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I Refused To Be A Prude – So I Offered Him Another Woman

You read that correctly. Years ago, approximately the 7 year itch mark, I refused to allow my marriage to become stale. I prided myself on not being a prude. I watched porn with my husband, I performed whenever I thought he desired, there even came a point that I offered a threesome. Yep. I truly, […]

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Just another 3 am bedtime

It was a long night of the tortured heart again. Unproductive conversations that turned into an all-nighter filled with accusations and presumptions. Today I’m left with an emotional hangover – laced with no pride, only guilt and regret. (And some binging on carbs) I struggle as much with my moments of peace as I do […]

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Grateful for Grace (and a random preacher)

I’ve done some pretty despicable things in my life. If I allow myself to sit and ponder on some of the decisions I’ve made, it makes me weep with sadness. Sadness for not only how I’ve hurt others and tarnished my soul, but how I must’ve hurt God. I’ve recently been going to bed listening […]

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Letting go of the ‘unletgoable’

Okay, so I just made up that word. I know there’s a real word (unforgivable) that would almost fit, but it just didn’t describe exactly what I’m trying to convey. Just like my daughter’s 2 year old daughter, currently screaming her head off in my presence because she doesn’t want to let go of her […]

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