Would I Tell Again?

Never in my life have I wished or longed for death – nor considered speeding up the process of ceasing to live – until the aftermath of the infidelity. Had I known what I would have to endure, the toll it would take on my mental and physical health, and the affect I would have […]

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The Unpopular Opinion Of Hope

“Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some………… It’s easy to see when there’s nothing to bring me down. But what will I say, when I’m held to the flame, like I am right now? I know You’re able, and I know You can, save through the fire with Your mighty hand But even if […]

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The One Year Mark, The “B” Word, And The Hero Of This Story

Whether you make it happen solo, or together.. Of late, I’ve written several posts about anything other than directly relating to where my marriage stands. Discussing my own imperfections and guilt is not only cathartic, it’s something within MY CONTROL. I find a sense of relief, because I’m not dealing with the direct pain from […]

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A Confession, An Apology

I wish I could attest that I’ve always walked with integrity as the Brene Brown quote says, but I digress. It’s easy to say you would NEVER do something, until you do that something. I don’t fit exactly into any category squarely when it comes to the infidelity clicks. Yes, I was betrayed. Yes, my […]

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Funny Hair

Recently I had a run in with a gentleman with whom we used to attend church. He and I had an additional thread in common besides the house of worship. That is, a love for photography. So naturally the conversation turned to his latest gigs and triumphs in the industry, of which I was super […]

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The Passing of D-day Anniversary #1

The memories that seem to have scarred most of all are the ones from the unearthing of information and the disclosure period itself. It’s everything surrounding that time frame. It’s the music heard, the chill in the air that began to envelope us. So many seemingly minuscule details that were never anticipated to have a […]

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Quiet Scares Me

I don’t like the quiet. I don’t like the stillness. I suppose it’s because it makes my own thoughts and voices become louder and unbearable. I don’t like what my “inner voice” says sometimes. It tells me to be insecure, be ashamed, feel guilty, feel dirty, be mad for the horrid things that not only […]

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The Middle (Being Lukewarm)

Like one of favorite fellow WordPress blogs Fractured Faith, I too, have struggled with my relationship with God. I was not one of the fortunate children who were homeschooled, sheltered from the secular world. I was brought up in and of the world, complete with cable TV and a 40 year-old Dad who took his […]

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The Load Feels Slightly Lighter

I’m writing this with hesitation, for fear of having that other shoe drop, but at least for the last month I feel some sense of normalcy again. Attempting to explain the emotions that ebb and flow after infidelity disclosure is almost indescribable to someone who hasn’t experienced it. FINALLY I feel somewhat stable and have […]

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Another Day

Another day of struggle. Another day of triggers. Another day of carefully layered mascara. Another day with an hour spent on careful preparation of my appearance. Then I recant -wipe away half of my art. (I do not want to appear to be trying too hard) So, it’s just Another wasted effort. Re-entrance to the […]

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